text-classification.py, learn, test: creation

ai/learn/clinton/clinton1.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,14 @@
+     A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and his mother told him to pray 
+to God for it. He prayed and prayed but for two weeks nothing happened. Then 
+he decided that perhaps he should write God a letter requesting the $100.00. 
+      When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God they 
+opened it, read it, and decided to send it to the President. 
+      The President was so touched and aroused that he instructed his 
+secretary to send the little boy a check for $5.00. The President thought 
+this would appear to be a lot of money for a  little boy. 
+      The little boy was very delighted upon receiving the $5.00 and 
+immediately sat down to write a thank you letter to God which went as 
+follows: 
+      "Dear God: thank you very much for sending me the money. I noticed that 
+you had to send it through Washington. As usual, those bastards deducted 95 
+percent." 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton10.txt

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+A directive was issued the other day banning mini-skirts from the White 
+House. It seems some members of the press were offended because they could 
+see Hillary's balls! 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton11.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,3 @@
+I hear Bill was seen walking a dog recently. When asked by a secret service 
+agent, he said he got it for Hillary. When Bill asked what the agent thought 
+about it, the agent said, "Good trade, Sir!" 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton12.txt

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+At a doctor's convention in Switzerland, a conversation was taking place in a 
+tavern after an enthusiastic mid-day lecture.  

ai/learn/clinton/clinton14.txt

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+Sb: Bumper Sticker Sighting 
+
+        Don't blame me -- I voted for Bush 
+
+        Impeach the President...& Her HUSBAND too 
+
+        At least Gennifer got kissed! 
+
+        Politically incorrect..and proud of it 
+
+        Vote Democrat--Its easier than finding a job 
+
+        Just say NO to H. Rodham Clinton 
+
+        If you voted for Clinton - You must have inhaled 
+
+        They are also selling Slick Willie golf balls - A good lie guaranteed 
+        every time! 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton15.txt

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+In Bill Clinton's army, the men will have zippers on the back of their pants. 
+Just thought you'd like to know. 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton17.txt

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+Not to mention that Santa is a known abuser of little critters; do you know 
+how the little angel got on top of the tree? It was Xmas eve & Santa was 
+pulling his hair out; Donner & Blitzen were in heat & were kicking out their 
+stalls, the elves had been organized by the AFL/CIO & were demanding higher 
+wages, Ms Claus was bitching because Santa was spending another holiday on 
+the road & the auto pilot in the sleigh was broke & the technician was 
+demanding double time cause of the holiday. Suddenly the door of the workshop 
+burst open & in came this little angel dragging this big tree; she shouted: 
+"Santa! Santa! Where should I stick this tree?". 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton18.txt

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+>>>>>>>>>
+Politicians are not like hookers! 
+
+(a) Hookers give value for your money. 
+
+(b) Clients do it to the hookers, while politicians do it to their clients. 
+ >>>>>>>>>>>>>>

ai/learn/clinton/clinton19.txt

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+. . 
+First Bother Roger Clinton, not being as bright, ambitious, or slick as 
+Willie, was having a hard time picking up babes.  But one night he thought he 
+was really scoring points with a hot blonde in a bar.  He figures it's about 
+time to move things on to matters of a more penetrating nature and says "Hey 
+honey, how about the two of us cruise over to your place?" she says "Sorry I  
+can't.  I'm on my menstrual cycle" Roger says "That's OK.  I'll follow you on 
+my Harley!" 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton20.txt

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+Did you hear about Hillary Clinton?  Last week she was visiting a hospital 
+when she was led into a ward.  She entered one room and came upon a man 
+masturbating.  She said "What is going on here?"  The doctor with her said 
+"This man has a disease and this is all we can do to ease his symptoms."  
+  Hillary was perplexed but accepted it and went into the next room.  In the 
+next room she came upon a nurse performing oral sex on a man.  She said "Now 
+what is going on here?"  The doctor with her said "This man has a disease and 
+this is all we can do to ease his symptoms."  Hillary then asked "What is the 
+difference between this man and the man in the last room?"  The doctor 
+replied "This man here has health insurance!" 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton21.txt

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+        The first requirement of all effective communication in a society is 
+a common agreement on the definition of words and terms. 
+        The easiest way to lie, mis-lead, or otherwise deceive those with 
+whom one communicates is to use words, phrases, or terms that have different 
+meanings to each of the parties.  Those individuals that are trying to 
+resolve differences or convey concepts are BOTH the "deceived" and the 
+"deceiver" when this happens.  ALL parties ( speakers or listeners; elected 
+officials or voters) subject to the exchange of ideas suffer when there are 
+no STANDARDS! 
+
+        Examples: 
+        "Taxes" = "Contributions" 
+        "Spending" = "Investment" 
+        "Millionaire = "..One who has X amount of Income" 
+        "Teen-agers"  =  "..unemployed individuals who are under 30" 
+        "Deficit" = "Debt" 
+        "Spending Cuts" = "..Reduction in `planned' spending" 
+        "Mandate" = "..one vote over a `simple majority' " 
+        "Standards" = "..the most RECENT `consensus' of a `people' or group" 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton24.txt

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+Q       Have you heard that Bill Clinton was a test-tube baby? 
+A:      He wasn't worth a f#ck back then either. 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton25.txt

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+Q:      What is the difference between Bill Clinton and a snake? 
+A:      One is spineless, has a forked tongue and is a threat to humans.  The 
+        other is a reptile! 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton27.txt

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+Bill and AlGore were sitting in the oval office late one night and Bill got 
+up from his chair and declared, "Well AlGore, I really feel like going up 
+stairs and tearing off Hillary's panties!" 
+ ---
+Al replied, "A little horny tonight Bill?" 
+--- 
+Bill said, "NO, these panties are cutting me in two."

ai/learn/clinton/clinton29.txt

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+Hillary and Bill are dining out at a nice restaurant and are ready to order. 
+The waiter comes up:  "What will you have Mrs. Clinton?" 
+"I'll have the steak and a twice-baked potato," she replies. 
+"And what would you like for your vegetable?" the waiter asks. 
+"Oh, he'll have the same," she says. 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton31.txt

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+Q: What is the real reason Chelsea didn't accompany Hillary on "Take Our 
+Daughters To Work Day"? 
+---
+A: Hillary's broom isn't a two-seater. 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton32.txt

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+They moved apart as Bill lit his cigar, then Hillary snuggled close to him 
+and 
+pulled the bedsheets up around their chins. 
+---
+"Darling," she cooed, "how many were there before me?" 
+--- 
+After a few minutes of silence, she said with a slight pout, 
+"Well, I'm still waiting!" 
+--- 
+"Well," Bill replied puffing thoughtfully, 
+"I'm still counting." 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton34.txt

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+Brightening up, Hilary says:  "I've got a better idea!  Why don't I throw 2 
+$5s out the window and make 2 people happy?" 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton35.txt

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+Little Chealsey pipes up with:  "Why don't we just throw out 10 $1 bills and 
+then we'll make 10 people happy" 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton36.txt

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+The helpful pilot then turned and made his suggestion:  "Why don't the three 
+of you throw each other out the window, and make the whole darned Nation 
+happy?" 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton37.txt

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+What do you get when you have Bill Clinton, ALLLLLgore, and Dolly Parton? 
+        Two Boobs and a great pair of breasts! 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton38.txt

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+        The other day at a press conference, some reporter (an ACT-UP guy 
+that's mad that Bill hasn't cured AIDS yet, no doubt) threw a beer at the 
+president. 
+  Don't worry, though- it was a draft, and he dodged it. 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton39.txt

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+Bill and Hilary went to the first baseball game of the season. The home team 
+owner walked up and began whispering in Bill's ear.  When he finished, Bill 
+turned and grabbed Hilary and through her out onto the field.  
+ The owner said, "Bill, I asked you if you wanted to throw the first PITCH." 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton4.txt

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+Q: Do you know how Bill and Hillary first met?  
+A: They were both dating the same girl! 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton40.txt

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+(1)     While jogging one day, 3 young boys rescued Willie from muggers. 
+Wanting to thank them Willie asks each what he would like as a reward for 
+bravery. 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton41.txt

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+The first said: "I'd like to go to the Naval Academy." 
+"No problem," said Willie, "I can get you into Annapolis." 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton42.txt

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+The second asked: "Can I have a job as a Summer Intern at the White House?" 
+"Sure you can, I can arrange that." said Willie. 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton44.txt

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+The third boy responded: "Because, when I get home and my father finds out 
+that I saved your life, he'll kill me!" 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton45.txt

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+Question:  What does Bill say to Hillary after sex? 
+Answer: "I'll be home soon, Honey." 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton46.txt

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+Jim:  Hillary & Bill are on a bus trip (trying desparately to "market" their 
+economic game play)....  At a truck stop in rural Georgia, they were fueling 
+the bus when the attendant looked in and said:  "Hillary, remember me ? "   
+Hillary made small talk with the attendant and told Bill they had da ted in 
+High School.  Bill said: "See, honey, aren't you glad you married me.....you 
+might be helping that attendant back there if you didn't".  
+ To which Hillary replied:  "No Bill, if I had married him, HE would be 
+president nowj". 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton48.txt

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+Just after returning from Japan, President Bill Clinton was furious to 
+discover the White House was infested with mice (once again, Clinton pointed 
+his finger at Regan and Bush) .  After working very diligently on the problem 
+for several   minutesPresident Clinton realized he didn't have a clue as to 
+how to get rid of the mice.-- So as usual, he turned to Hillary for advice. 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton49.txt

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+After hearing the problem Hillary said: "Why that's easy "Willy", Just get 
+some Ground Up Glass and pour it into their holes.  It always worked back in 
+Arkansas." 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton5.txt

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+A directive was issued the other day banning mini-skirts from the White 
+House. It seems some members of the press were offended because they could 
+see Hillary's balls! 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton50.txt

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+"Well" said the president, "It certainly sounds like it would work,  But... 
+Tell Me Hillary,....Who Holds The Mice???" 
+
+I have another joke like that for ya.  A chemist, an engineer, and an 
+economist are shipwrecked on a desert island.   All the food they have is a 
+can of beans, but they have no can opener.  The chemist says, "All we need do 
+is wait.  The can will eventually oxidize, and therefore will be open."  

ai/learn/clinton/clinton51.txt

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+The engineer says, " Let's build a fire.  The internal pressure of the can 
+will rise with the heat until it bursts." 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton52.txt

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+The economist says, "First, assume a can opener...." 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton54.txt

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+Have you heard that Bill Clinton is going to star in a new Fall TV Show? 
+America's Least Wanted 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton55.txt

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+Bill Clinton-looks great:Less Filling-99% contents free 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton56.txt

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+The secret service has orders that if Bill Clinton gets shot they are 
+to shoot Algore. 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton57.txt

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+There is a new sandwich in a D.C. restaurant named after Clinton: 
+Its half chicken and half turkey 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton58.txt

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+Why does a chicken go to Moscow? 
+Avoid being drafted 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton59.txt

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+Many Americans think that Bill Clinton's purpose is to provide jokes for Rush 
+Limbaugh, Jay Leno, and David Letterman and frankly, many Americans would 
+sleep better believing that to be true. 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton6.txt

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+I hear Bill was seen walking a dog recently. When asked by a secret service 
+agent, he said he got it for Hillary. When Bill asked what the agent thought 
+about it, the agent said, "Good trade, Sir!" 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton60.txt

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+Regarding his economic policy Clinton said "We are ready for any unforseen 
+event that may or may not occur and don't forget, if we don't succeed, we run 
+the risk of failure" 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton61.txt

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+What did Hilliary say to Bill on their wedding night? 
+- You're no Jack Kennedy 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton64.txt

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+Q: What do you call a Democrat in DC who doesn't womanize? 
+A: Barney Frank 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton65.txt

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+Q: Did you know that Clinton is responsible for the midwest floods? 
+ A: Yes, when he left the midwest for D.C., he brought all the dikes with 
+   him. 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton67.txt

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+What's the difference between Bill Clinton and Jane Fonda? 
+Jane Fonda went to Vietnam. 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton69.txt

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+RE:  It seems out of place to me, in a supposedly free society where 
+_alcohol_, _tobacco_, and _firearms_ are all legal, that our government 
+creates a para-military force to deal with these items. 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton71.txt

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+Which reminds me, "if a couple from Arkansas gets divorced, are they still 
+brother and sister?" 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton72.txt

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+There are three new watches on the market: 
+The George Bush Watch. 
+  Has no hands. You must Read its Lips.....................29.95 plus tax 
+The Ross Perot Watch 
+  Runs for awhile, stops. Runs for awhile, stops...........19.95 plus tax 
+ The Bill Clinton Watch 
+  Has two faces............................................9.95 plus tax... 
+                                                                plus tax... 
+                                                                plus tax... 
+                                                                plus tax... 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton74.txt

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+  Hillary Clinton ends up on an elevator,alone, with Rush Limbaugh. She stops 
+the elevator between floors, & says to him "Rush ,make me a real woman" as 
+she removes her clothes. Rush takes off his clothes, and handing them to her, 
+says " please fold mine neatly too" !! 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton76.txt

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+<<Q:  Do you know how to become the owner of a small business? 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton77.txt

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+A:  Start a large business now, and then wait for the Clinton Health Plan to 
+    take effect.>> 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton78.txt

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+Here's a variation on that one -- 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton79.txt

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+Q: Do you know how to go out of business? 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton8.txt

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+Q: Do you know why Hillary wears turtle-neck shirts? 
+A: So you can't see her adams-apple move when Bill talks! 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton80.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
+A: Own a small business and then waith for the Clinton Health Plan to take 
+effect. 

ai/learn/clinton/clinton82.txt

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+For what it's worth, here's another Billary joke: 
+Did you hear that Bill is in trouble with the IRS?  He lied on his 1040. 
+He listed himself as "Head of Household!"

ai/learn/clinton/clinton84.txt

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+Hillary's Medical  
+Dictionary 
+ARTERY.............The study of painting 
+BACTERIA...........The back door of a cafeteria 
+BARIUM.............What doctors do when patients die 
+BOWEL..............A letter; like a,e,i,o,u 
+CESAREAN SECTION...A neighborhood in Rome 
+CAT SCAN...........Searching for kitty 
+CAUTERIZE..........Made eye contact with her 
+COLIC..............A sheep dog 
+D & C..............Where Washing is 
+DILATE.............To live long 
+ENEMA..............Not a friend 
+FESTER.............Quicker 
+GENITAL............Not a Jew 
+G.I. SERIES........Soldier ball game 
+HANGNAIL...........Coathook 
+IMPOTENT...........Distinguished; well-known 
+LABOR PAIN.........Getting hurt at work 
+MEDICAL STAFF......A doctor's cane 
+MORBID.............Higher offer 
+NITRATES...........Cheaper than day rates 
+NODE...............Was aware of 
+OUTPATIENT.........A person who fainted 
+PAP SMEAR..........A fatherhood test 
+PELVIS.............A cousin to Elvis 
+POSTOPERATIVE......A letter carrier 
+RECOVERY ROOM......A place to do upholstery 
+RECTUM.............Dang near killed 'em! 
+SEIZURE............A Roman emperor 
+TABLET.............A small table 
+TERMINAL ILLNESS...Getting sick at the airport 
+TUMOR..............More than one 
+URINE..............Belongs to you 
+VARICOSE...........Nearby 
+VEIN...............Conceited

ai/learn/clinton/clinton9.txt

@@ -0,0 +1,2 @@
+Q: Do you know how Bill and Hillary first met?  
+A: They were both dating the same girl!