[BugFix] Optimize merge commit performance (backport #54251)

[mergify]

Why I'm doing:

Optimize the performance of merge commit under high pressure load

What I'm doing:

1. append data to stream load pipe may block if consuming the pipe is slow, so move the append outside the lock. See IsomorphicBatchWrite::_write_data_to_pipe
2. use butil::ip2str to get the ip of the client rather than butil::ip2hostname. ip2hostname may communicate with DNS server which causes second-level latency jitter. See BatchWriteMgr::receive_stream_load_rpc
3. pipeline engine will poll the stream load pipe to read the data. Each poll will wait for some time in the pipeline connector scan executor to avoid polling frequently. If the time is large, it will block other tasks which lead to the profile metric IOTaskWaitTime is large. So adjust the time from 50ms to 500us. 500us is an empirical value under the high concurrency load. After the pipeline engine supports event-based scheduling, we can reimplement it with the input-driven instead of polling. See BatchWriteMgr::create_and_register_pipe
4. improve the error message. See IsomorphicBatchWrite::_execute_write

Fixes #issue

What type of PR is this:

• BugFix
• Feature
• Enhancement
• Refactor
• UT
• Doc
• Tool

Does this PR entail a change in behavior?

• Yes, this PR will result in a change in behavior.
• No, this PR will not result in a change in behavior.

If yes, please specify the type of change:

• Interface/UI changes: syntax, type conversion, expression evaluation, display information
• Parameter changes: default values, similar parameters but with different default values
• Policy changes: use new policy to replace old one, functionality automatically enabled
• Feature removed
• Miscellaneous: upgrade & downgrade compatibility, etc.

Checklist:

• I have added test cases for my bug fix or my new feature
• This pr needs user documentation (for new or modified features or behaviors)
  • I have added documentation for my new feature or new function
• This is a backport pr