deathlist.txt

chops %s's head of with a rusty sword.
electrocutes %s with a car battery.
gives %s some cyanide gas.
hangs %s with a piece of fishing line.
throws a lot of stones at %s.
shoots %s with a BB gun, repeatedly.
floggs %s with a bag of oranges.
boils %s in hot oil.
sicks a hungry lion on %s.
creeps up behind %s and uses a garrote.
watches oilsdragon's MC stabs %s repeatedly with a pineapple.  Pina colada's anyone?
staps %s with a hot poker.
saws %s in half.
throws %s and the puppy over a cliff into a fleet of swarming tiger sharks.
throws %s off a cliff, repeatedly.
makes %s some concrete shoes and throws him in a river.
watches MysticDreamer give the plague to %s.
PEW PEW PEW's %s.
accidentally laces %s's drink with piranhas.
impales %s with a narwhal.
squishs %s. EWWWW. Guts.
catapults %s into the sun.  He does not survive to tell the tale.
pushes %s out of a plane.
makes %s's atoms implode into microscopic black holes that tear him apart before ceasing to exist all together.
stars on a TV ER Drama, where %s is the sacrifice character.
caused %s to meet the business end of a horse's hooves...mashed bits are served for Lunch the next day.
pushes %s into a woodchipper.  The woodchipper wins.
cuts %s open with rusty scalpel.
shoots %s in face.
beats %s over head with cinderblock... he dies.
rips out %s's spine. FATALITY DEATHBOT WINS!!!
sets loose hungry Kittens Of Death on %s.
hits %s with a spoon 22,000 times. 
rams %s with a bumper boat.
runs over %s with a tractor.
chokes %s with a goat.
watches as %s dies at the hand of a rabid accountant.
watches as %s squishes under the weight the weight of rotting lemmings.
suffocates %s with dirty socks.
throws %s in the midst of a Mortal Kombat fight, where he subsequently is killed by both participants.
eats %s. Ketchup please?
plays The Hamster Dance Song until %s's head explodes.
feeds %s poisoned Reese Peanut Butter Cups.
puts %s in a Ranma 1/2 outfit and throws him to a crowd of rabid fangirls who tear him to pieces.
tells Ray Park that %s is a practicing doll and hands Ray Park twin katanas.
inflates %s like a balloon til he pops.
introduces %s to his polar bear collection.
clears a helicopter landing site on %s's chair.
eats %s with tiny little bites.
throws %s in the sarlacc pit.
fuels his hate machine with %s(TM) Brand Soylent Coal.
tells Boba Fett that %s killed 6 Mandalorians. Boba Fett blasts him to death.
tells Inigo Montoya that %s is the 6 fingered man. Inigo Montoya kills him in revenge.
throws %s in the Fire Swamp.
switches %s with a pinata at a five year olds birthday party.
falls on %s like a dropbear.
shoves %s out the airlock.
crushes %s under the weight of Lithy's wordcount.
uses %s's skull as an inkwell, and gets back to writing.
casts %s into the fires of Mordor.
turns %s into a meme, and he explodes across the internet!
slices %s's head off with a thrown Geek Love Songs CD.
stuffs %s with pickled anchovies until he explodes.
gets %s to channel his inner Hemmingway and run with the bulls; he doesn't finish.
bludgeons %s with a loaded carp.
debates the novelties of Susan Sontag's self-indulgant over-rated crap with %s; he commits suicide.
watches as %s is hypnotized by dreamy sparklespires.
flings %s into outerspace where he is hit by an asteroid and dies.
turns into a cactus and GLOMPs %s
drops a grand piano on %s's head
drops a toaster into the tub where %s is bathing
tramples %s with an AT-AT
feeds %s to the kittens.  The kittens all die of indigestion.
stabs %s with a spork.
sacrifices %s to the dark gods.
boils %s in a pot like a savage.
does his impression of a Toronto City Councillor and taxes %s to death
plays a few Geek Love Songs.  %s dances a jig!
activates world peace program.  It kills %s.
is bored.  Kills %s with a butterfly.
sees %s.  Kills him out of spite.
impales %s with a Narwhal
installs %s on a PC running Windows 7.
replays the Banana Phone Song until %s's head explodes and his eyes pop out!
pushes %s in front of a moving train, and has the train roll back on him for good measure!!
super glues %s's eyes, mouth, and nose shut and watches him flail like a fish for air till he dies!
ties %s's feet to a tree, and his head to the bumper of a car, turns on the car, and puts a brick on the gas pedal!
takes %s out on a blind date with Hannibal Lecter
kills %s by dressing him up as a woman for Chuck Norris
kills %s with a rubber chicken, a diaper, and a spork...but that's a mystery for LT. Horatio Caine to figure out
watches %s and Drew fight to the death.  They both die.
blows %s into outerspace with a leaf blower
attacks %s with a stone pillow
uses %s to feed his penguin army
puts %s in a locked tank to see how long he can hold his breath
pushes %s off the ferris wheel at the top
gives %s a new kacket with over 9000 pins in it
introduces %s to the underside of a lawnmower
skewers %s with an umbrella, then opens it
told %s not to push the BIG RED BUTTON, but he didn't listen.
defenestrates %s
cooks %s dinner, he subsequently dies of salmonella
forgets to put up a Caution: Wet Floor sign, %s has a tragic slip and fall
kicks %s into a well...SPARTAN STYLE
strangles %s with a large undercooked noodle.
chops %s up into tiny little pieces and feeds him to carnivorous goldfish
divides %s by zero
smashes %s against the wall like a Terry's Chocolate Orange
writes a Nancy Drew murder mystery in which %s is the victim
bludgeons %s to death with a pinecone
beats %s to death with a viola bow
watched as %s was killed one small bite at a time by the bonsai goats who could only reach their necks up one inch at a time.
kills %s with cuts from a thousand post-it notes
kills %s by running him over with an ambulance
kills %s by forcing him into the Jeffries tubes with a leaking container of antimatter
kills %s by asking him to mathmatically prove zero
kills %s by getting him to test the tensile strenght of duct tape by hanging from a helicopter
kills %s by asking him innocently to hold deathbot's golf club while they play during a thunderstorm
kills %s by volunteering him to be the subject of an autopsy
kills %s by giving him one too many body piercings
kills %s by pushing him into a jet engine
kills %s by feeding him as chum for sharks
kills %s by dropping him into an active volcano
kills %s by giving him a case of fleas and he subsequently scratches himself to death
kills %s by putting him on hold at the Phone Company
kills %s with kindness
kills %s by trampling him to death by soccer fans
forces %s to do the chicken dance until he dies from exhaustion.
pretends %s is Voldemort and Avada Kedavras him.
feeds %s a poisoned muffin; he chokes on the wrapper.
pricks %s with the spindle of a spinning wheel, and nobody kisses him awake.
turns %s into a eucalyptus tree...Panda eats tree.
uses a landspeeder to wind cables around %s's legs, causing him to fall down and explode
used razor leaf on %s! It's super effective! Drew fainted!
used Confuse Ray! %s is confused! He hit himself in confusion and fainted!
stuffs %s with Iron Supplements and introduces him to Magneto in prison!
sends %s into space at LUDICROUS SPEED and then pushes the emergency STOP button. Drew shoots like a torpedo out the viewport into space with Lord Dark Helmet!
gives %s a wand where Drew accidentally turns himself into a chicken and is subsequently beheaded, battered and fried and eaten at KFC. Mm Mm good!
kills %s by forcing him to babysit Stewie who then throws China at Drew's head, runs him over with a car, and fires a Rocket Launcher into his pants and dumps his body into the Lake with Louis.
become's Jigsaw's Apprentice and forces %s into a "Game" Where he must write 50,000 words or die. Deathbot called this game NANOWRIMO!
shoots %s out of a human cannon and deliberately forgets to set up the safety net!
dares %s to walk on a high-wire and halfway across, Deathbot shakes the wire until Drew falls to his death!
kills %s by forcing him to write 50,000 words in a small room where until he reaches 50,000 words he will receive no food or water! Drew dies at the 100 word mark!
gets the Mummy to stop chasing Brendan Fraser and chase %s
rolls a natural 20 and does double damage to %s, killing him instantly.
casts "wail of the banshee" on %s, who fails his saving throw and perishes
sics the AlleyKittens on %s and they talk him to death.
feeds %s to a Tasmanian devil
drops an anvil on %s's head
turns %s into a prinny and throws him across the room
flings %s to the mercy of the dropbears, where he is slowly eaten alive.
makes %s drink Adelaide tap water
roasts %s slowly over tealight candles.
hands %s an iPod that can only play Miley Cyrus on repeat and runs away to watch his slow and painful death.
floods %s's house with koala urine.