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I did some edits in e998706 but in my opinion it was quite good already.
There was some repetition between paragraphs starting from line 21 (19 in the original file) and paragraph starting from line 38 (36 in the original file) AND between paragraph 29 (27 in the original file) and paragraph starting from line 38. Some repetition is not always bad but I mention this if you want to consider removing or rephrasing something.
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