diff --git a/code/controllers/configuration/entries/general.dm b/code/controllers/configuration/entries/general.dm
index d5673a92485ba..5b788a621ef6a 100644
--- a/code/controllers/configuration/entries/general.dm
+++ b/code/controllers/configuration/entries/general.dm
@@ -626,6 +626,12 @@
 
 /datum/config_entry/flag/auto_profile
 
+/datum/config_entry/number/drift_dump_threshold
+	default = 4 SECONDS
+
+/datum/config_entry/number/drift_profile_delay
+	default = 15 SECONDS
+
 /datum/config_entry/string/centcom_ban_db // URL for the CentCom Galactic Ban DB API
 
 /datum/config_entry/string/centcom_source_whitelist
diff --git a/code/controllers/master.dm b/code/controllers/master.dm
index 694f2906bf57d..1697d3e41b76c 100644
--- a/code/controllers/master.dm
+++ b/code/controllers/master.dm
@@ -32,6 +32,8 @@ GLOBAL_REAL(Master, /datum/controller/master)
 	var/init_timeofday
 	var/init_time
 	var/tickdrift = 0
+	/// Tickdrift as of last tick, w no averaging going on
+	var/olddrift = 0
 
 	/// How long is the MC sleeping between runs, read only (set by Loop() based off of anti-tick-contention heuristics)
 	var/sleep_delta = 1
@@ -60,6 +62,10 @@ GLOBAL_REAL(Master, /datum/controller/master)
 	/// Outside of initialization, returns null.
 	var/current_initializing_subsystem = null
 
+	/// The last decisecond we force dumped profiling information
+	/// Used to avoid spamming profile reads since they can be expensive (string memes)
+	var/last_profiled = 0
+
 	var/static/restart_clear = 0
 	var/static/restart_timeout = 0
 	var/static/restart_count = 0
@@ -442,9 +448,14 @@ GLOBAL_REAL(Master, /datum/controller/master)
 	canary.use_variable()
 	//the actual loop.
 	while (1)
-		tickdrift = max(0, MC_AVERAGE_FAST(tickdrift, (((REALTIMEOFDAY - init_timeofday) - (world.time - init_time)) / world.tick_lag)))
+		var/newdrift = ((REALTIMEOFDAY - init_timeofday) - (world.time - init_time)) / world.tick_lag
+		tickdrift = max(0, MC_AVERAGE_FAST(tickdrift, newdrift))
 		var/starting_tick_usage = TICK_USAGE
 
+		if(newdrift - olddrift >= CONFIG_GET(number/drift_dump_threshold))
+			AttemptProfileDump(CONFIG_GET(number/drift_profile_delay))
+		olddrift = newdrift
+
 		if (init_stage != init_stage_completed)
 			return MC_LOOP_RTN_NEWSTAGES
 		if (processing <= 0)
@@ -803,3 +814,11 @@ GLOBAL_REAL(Master, /datum/controller/master)
 	for (var/thing in subsystems)
 		var/datum/controller/subsystem/SS = thing
 		SS.OnConfigLoad()
+
+/// Attempts to dump our current profile info into a file, triggered if the MC thinks shit is going down
+/// Accepts a delay in deciseconds of how long ago our last dump can be, this saves causing performance problems ourselves
+/datum/controller/master/proc/AttemptProfileDump(delay)
+	if(REALTIMEOFDAY - last_profiled <= delay)
+		return FALSE
+	last_profiled = REALTIMEOFDAY
+	SSprofiler.DumpFile(allow_yield = FALSE)
diff --git a/code/controllers/subsystem/profiler.dm b/code/controllers/subsystem/profiler.dm
index 4b3a1a9971178..dc06c2bc6ae7f 100644
--- a/code/controllers/subsystem/profiler.dm
+++ b/code/controllers/subsystem/profiler.dm
@@ -21,13 +21,20 @@ SUBSYSTEM_DEF(profiler)
 		StopProfiling() //Stop the early start profiler
 	return SS_INIT_SUCCESS
 
-/datum/controller/subsystem/profiler/fire()
+/datum/controller/subsystem/profiler/OnConfigLoad()
 	if(CONFIG_GET(flag/auto_profile))
-		DumpFile()
+		StartProfiling()
+		can_fire = TRUE
+	else
+		StopProfiling()
+		can_fire = FALSE
+
+/datum/controller/subsystem/profiler/fire()
+	DumpFile()
 
 /datum/controller/subsystem/profiler/Shutdown()
 	if(CONFIG_GET(flag/auto_profile))
-		DumpFile()
+		DumpFile(allow_yield = FALSE)
 		world.Profile(PROFILE_CLEAR, type = "sendmaps")
 	return ..()
 
@@ -39,13 +46,13 @@ SUBSYSTEM_DEF(profiler)
 	world.Profile(PROFILE_STOP)
 	world.Profile(PROFILE_STOP, type = "sendmaps")
 
-
-/datum/controller/subsystem/profiler/proc/DumpFile()
+/datum/controller/subsystem/profiler/proc/DumpFile(allow_yield = TRUE)
 	var/timer = TICK_USAGE_REAL
 	var/current_profile_data = world.Profile(PROFILE_REFRESH, format = "json")
 	var/current_sendmaps_data = world.Profile(PROFILE_REFRESH, type = "sendmaps", format="json")
 	fetch_cost = MC_AVERAGE(fetch_cost, TICK_DELTA_TO_MS(TICK_USAGE_REAL - timer))
-	CHECK_TICK
+	if(allow_yield)
+		CHECK_TICK
 
 	if(!length(current_profile_data)) //Would be nice to have explicit proc to check this
 		stack_trace("Warning, profiling stopped manually before dump.")
diff --git a/config/config.txt b/config/config.txt
index 681ce98fe6429..e026e4fb9c629 100644
--- a/config/config.txt
+++ b/config/config.txt
@@ -469,6 +469,12 @@ DEFAULT_VIEW_SQUARE 15x15
 ## Enable automatic profiling - Byond 513.1506 and newer only.
 #AUTO_PROFILE
 
+## Threshold (in deciseconds) for real time between ticks before we start dumping profiles
+DRIFT_DUMP_THRESHOLD 40
+
+## How long to wait (in deciseconds) after a profile dump before logging another tickdrift sourced one
+DRIFT_PROFILE_DELAY 150
+
 ## Uncomment to enable global ban DB using the provided URL. The API should expect to receive a ckey at the end of the URL.
 ## More API details can be found here: https://centcom.melonmesa.com
 #CENTCOM_BAN_DB https://centcom.melonmesa.com/ban/search